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紅塵客棧

任武林谁领风骚我却只为你折腰........ HIGH......................


词/方文山 曲/周杰伦
天涯 的尽头是风沙
红尘 的故事叫牵挂
封刀隐没在寻常人家 东篱下
闲云 野鹤 古刹
快马 在江湖里厮杀
无非 是名跟利放不下
心中有江山的人 岂能快意潇洒
我只求与你共 华发
剑出鞘 恩怨了 谁笑
我只求今朝 拥你入 怀抱
红尘客栈风似刀
骤雨落 宿命敲
任武林谁领风骚我却 只为你 折腰
过荒村野桥 寻世外 古道
远离人间尘嚣
柳絮飘 执子之手逍遥
檐下 窗棂斜映枝桠
与你 席地对座饮茶
我以工笔画 将你牢牢的记下
提笔 不为风雅
灯下 叹红颜近晚霞
我说缘份 一如参禅不说话
你泪如梨花 洒满了纸上的天下
爱恨如写意 山水画
剑出鞘 恩怨了 谁笑
我只求今朝 拥你入 怀抱
红尘客栈风似刀
骤雨落 宿命敲
任武林谁领风骚 我却 只为你 折腰
过荒村野桥 寻世外 古道
远离人间尘嚣
柳絮飘 执子之手逍遥
任武林谁领风骚 我却 只为你 折腰
你回眸多娇 我泪中 带笑
酒招旗风中萧萧
剑出鞘 恩怨了
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It's been quite a while....

When pple say life changes when you have a kid, I didn't take it that it was gonna be so literal. I've neglected this blog for more than a year now, and it's time to play catch up.

Gracie is 15 months. :) How time flies. Isaac is born and our family has expanded in the past year.

It's been good so far. I got my PND treated and life is good. I have a great job at DHL and I love my baby to bits. She's now my motivation and I look forward to seeing her so much. If you had told me when she was 2 months old that I would be loving her this much, I wouldn't have believed you. But these days, my heart burst each time I see her. I can't stop thinking about her at work and she's such a big part of my life I can't imagine not having her. KS adores her too and we are grateful she's such a happy and healthy little girl. She's growing too fast though, I'm hardly keeping up. I wish time will stop still coz she's utterly lovely now. She started speaking quite early and is now able to say quite a bit of nonsense, including stuff like "Oh god". I'm proud of what we have done with her and it's absolutely a joy to see that our efforts to be decent parents did not go to waste. Some days I'm so scared she'll grow up too fast I'll hold her in my arms when she's asleep and whisper, "Sweetheart, if you can, can you just stop growing for a while?" It'll only be a matter of time when she'll slam the door on me when I ground her and I'll look back on this entry and remember how I wish she'll stay little... They grow too fast, don't they?

Right now, I'm totally nuts about Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titans). Freaking awesome anime and best I've seen in quite a while now. I hate watching work in progress, waiting for manga to catch up with anime is absolutely painful. Well, at least I have something I love. And I realized each time I ship a couple, it's never coz I love the guy. I realize that I always fall in love with the female character first, then mentally find the guy I feel best deserves her and here comes the ship! In this case, I think Mikasa & Levi are awesome together. They are humanity's strongest two and damn they look good together. I'm sure this pairing is freaking unlikely, but a girl can dream, can't she? =)

My inner fangirl has been revived.... Thanks to AoT!

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Daily Reinforcements

1) All babies cry. Her crying does not reflect on my abilities as a mother. As long as I've tried my best, it's ok. She will cry when she needs to and it's just a phase, until she is able to self soothe. Even if she cries non stop when I'm carrying her and soothing her, it does not mean she is rejecting me. She may be crying but she knows I'm there for her and it's good enough.

2) She will grow up very fast and while there may be new challenges in every phase, it will get easier as she begins to develop awareness and learns to communicate with us. This phase will not last long. She will not be cranky and difficult forever.

3) I must accept that my baby is having a tough time falling asleep and once I have done everything I can possibly do to help her sleep, I must not be too hard on myself over how many hours she clock per day. I have no control over how many hours she sleeps and if she doesn't clock the necessary hours, so be it. I must not keep harping on how it will affect her brain development or if she will not be as bright just coz she doesn't sleep well for this phase of time. I will believe that as she grows, and as I become a more confident mum, I will establish a routine that will allow both of us to rest sufficiently.

4) I love my daughter and while it is really hard to feel or express the love intensely while she is being so difficult, deep down I know I love her and will do everything in my power to care for her. And it's ok to be on survival mode now. It's ok that I am unable to start training her to go on a schedule and sleep on her own for the time being. She is still so small and I am still getting used to her. All these can come later. I just need to survive this phase.

5) It's ok to feel tired. Having a new baby is hard and demanding and having a fussy baby like mine is even harder. I must not be too hard on myself for feeling tired and it's ok to use the pacifier in exchange for some sanity or some alone time with hubby whenever necessary. I must not judge myself for not being there for my baby 24/7. My sanity is important too. If the mum is not well, who will take care of the baby? I need to learn to preserve myself.

6) It's ok that I'm not singing/reading/doing activities with her as much as I thought I would. I'm on survival mode. Taking care of her needs alone is already taxing enough so I must not stress myself up for not doing enough. She can be very demanding as it is so by meeting her needs, I am already doing plenty. All the stimulation and nurturing can come later as she gets easier to parent. I must believe that this day will come.

7) I have a lovely baby. And while I'm too tired n stressed to fully enjoy her now, I must also cherish this time with her. One day, she will hug me and tell me she loves me. And all this will be worth it. It is always difficult for a start. It will pay off. I must believe it will.
  • Current Mood: stressed stressed
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Goodbye Bleach...

Downloading the final episodes for Bleach. Sobz... Think they finally run out of fillers but guess it's actually a good thing. Hopefully, there'll be a revival after the final manga arc is completed (in like 5-6 yrs?? lol..) and it'll be animated again! For now, it's goodbye... Feeling a bit nostalgic, especially after a few nights of cheonging the whole Invading Army arc but well, I don't really want another filler again. Guess it's a good point to end, for now... But not for good of course. I truly believe the anime will be back, when the time is ripe... =)

Thanks for all the good times!
  • Current Mood: okay okay